my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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