Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
