if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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