This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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