I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
