So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
