Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
