using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
