My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
