She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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