either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
