fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
