Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize