he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
