I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My life is pants optional.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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