You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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