we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
