I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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