Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
