I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
