We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
