didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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