this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
