Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize