Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
