I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
