absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
