Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
