I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
