your thong is hanging out like whoa
its not stalking. its research.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
