Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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