WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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