My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
