woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It's no shave November. This is our time.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
