Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
