the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
