He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
