Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
