Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
