I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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