ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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