Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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