I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
