But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
