So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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