He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
