who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
