oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize
