I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize