Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
3pm strippers are depressing
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
