okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
