Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize