I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
