I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
