Can Purell be used as lube?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
no, he came in my armpit
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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