Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
