I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We need to get me chipped asap
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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