Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
