i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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