As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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